6.12.09

Wolf eyes.



Boycrazys the "Blind leading the Blind" life advice has inspired me to share some of my own wisdom to you fine folks.

Take lots and lots of vitamins. It will help you not get the swine and other nasty sicknesses. Especially if you spend most of your days boozing it up until four in the morning.And no longer have mommy and daddy to cook for you. Don't worry if your pee is neon yellow and smells like pineapples. I made the mistake of thinking I was dying but its just your body cleasing itself of extra nutrients.

Learn to make your own sushi. Sushi restaurants can quickly leave a hole in your pocket, but sushi simply isn't a something to give up. Making sushi is surprisingly inexpensive and much easier to make than one might think. All you need is sushi rice, a wooden sushi mat, rice vinegar and vegetables. Oh and internet helps alot. They have tons of instructional videos to learn from online. I live right next to an adorable little japanese grocery store in NDG. I walked in and ask the lady to show me what I needed. She was more the willing to help and quickly grabbed a cart for me and filled up my basket. It's cool to think that one day I could be the next great sushi chef, even if my friends are the only witness.

Always use a condom with someone new and especially if it's a one night stand. You just met him, and your wasted as shit. You don't know how dirty this guy is on a scale of one to ten. He could be a virgin or he could be doing the deed everynight with a different girl. Sure, he says he's clean but he could have AIDS under that blanket of lies. If you don't like to use condoms, look up genital herpes on google images. That should do the trick. Did you know that stays with you for life. Like even when your seventy years old and living with a bunch of cats. You can't use the excuse that your too poor in this case because they give out free condoms like candy at schools. Be safe kids!

Shop at thrift stores. Seriously. When I first went into a thrift store I thought the clothes smelled like old people, and they do. Once you get over yourself and realize that these are rad clothes and they're cheap, its like the holy grail of possibilities. All the clothes have history and a certain sentimental value about them. Vintage shoes are great to find because they usually belonged to an old lady who cleaned them daily. I also find that a lot of the clothes are made for larger sizes, so its fun to deconstruct them and make them your own. Go to a local Value Village or Salvation Army today.

Never ever walk home alone at 3 am by yourself on a city street. All the creeps come out at night haven't you heard? Drunk guys are sketchy in this city. One time me and my friend were innocently eating pizza on the sidewalk one night. A bald chubby man came up to me and asked me for a "quick blow". I had no idea that eating pizza meant that I was open for sale to gross sweaty men twice my age. I told him to go away. I was lucky my friend was there because it could've gotten ugly. If you do find yourself walking up by yourself on a late night, walk as fast as you can and don't look at anyone, just look at the ground. My dad alway said "Don't look a wolf in the eye".

No comments:

Post a Comment