Life advice from Alexi Wasser.

Always carry breath spray and baby wipes. Just in case anyone wants to kiss you or go down on you. - Remember women! We don’t do anything gross!

Shave your legs everyday-even though I’m a big believer in the theory that the night you DON’T shave your legs is the night you end up meeting the boy of your dreams/or sexiest makeout ever!

Don’t cross your arms when you walk- or EVER! it makes you look SUPER insecure, and like a rape victim! even if you are, fight the urge!!! it’ll make people more drawn to you.

You are a woman. You are always in control.

Don’t eat as much as the boy you’re dating. you will only gain weight!

Never wear ugg boots. Apparently girls didn’t get this memo 7 years ago. have you given any thought to moccasin boots: the healthy alternative to ugg boots?

Social anxiety happens when you’re not supposed to be where you are! So keep the fuck away from those creeps! Or develop a higher opinion of yourself, so anywhere you are is the place to be!

Don’t bite your nails! Get a manicure and grow into the woman or gay man you are meant to be!

If he doesn’t go down on you; he doesn’t get inside of you.

You are a woman. You have the power to cast spells over boys with your words, your silence, gestures, eyes, and actions. this power can be super fun/entertaining, and will most likely result in an epic make out and/or someone falling in love with you. I can’t stress enough how much power you have. use it wisely.

When he calls, let it ring at least twice. nobody likes a desperate whore.

If you’re put on hold for longer than 9 seconds, hang up/press end.

If you pick at an ingrown hair on your bikini line, people will TOTALLY think you have herpes. i’m just saying.

Metal absorbs heat. If you leave your spoon in your tea/coffee/soup, it’ll get cooler.

Don’t go in the ocean when you have your period. a shark will totally eat you. I live by this rule. be careful this summer.

Don’t drink alcohol during the day. it’s gross. have some self control. even if you are at a bbq and everyone is getting shit faced or just nursing a beer. you’re better!

it’s here! spf 100+ from neutrogena! look into it bitches who take themselves seriously! i did.

Don’t use microwaves! are you fucking kidding me? you might as well give god and mother nature the finger!

Wear mascara! what the fuck is your problem? it will only make your life better. trust me.

Don’t use antiperspirants. they cause cancer. just plain DEODORANT is ok though

Eat watermelon! It’s fucking awesome.

Stop saying fuck so much. Especially in public. Let’s face it, it makes you look like a sloppy derelict!

When you’re sleeping, if you turn over and reposition your head on the pillow- your dream will change direction too.

Boy Crazy Promo from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

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