January is always one of those tough months. You spend most of the time reflecting on the past year; whats been good and bad and so forth. I've made quite drastic changes for myself to start it off right. First off I quit smoking weed, and this is a BIG deal. Since my parents divorce I guess was when I started. Anyways I soon started getting all these shitty anxiety attacks out of the blue and would try to feel better by smoking a big joint but instead it just made it worse. I really wanna see how I feel after a couple months of being smoke free. Im pretty proud of myself, I went out last night and there were doobies being passed left and right. The smell of smoke always in my face. I kept it together and was actually able to deny that little "spark of joy".
Oh and I deleted my facebook. I deleted every single thing. Im tired of trying to be someone to somebody and I just want to be free of bullshit.
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my parents no longer live together either. the seperation actually occurred when i left for california the second time and made it official that i would be staying. it's a really strange feeling.
ReplyDeletei'll smoke once in a blue moon..i always have trouble relating to everyone i know because they all smoke regularly and i don't. but oh well, we all have our reasons.